friends

There is something wonderful about catching up with an old friend. The kind of friend you don’t have to explain the back story to, because she knows it. The kind of friend that doesn’t care if I showered, put on make up, hell, even changed out of the clothes I wore to bed the night before.

I’ve known her since I was 5, buddies in kindergarten group B. We grew up doing so many things together… 4-H, FFA, basketball, volleyball, choir, pretty much every academic class. She was better at math, did public speaking, worked with her parents’ cattle business. I liked English more, ran track, was a cheerleader, and played an instrument in the band. We weren’t identical – she was brunette, I was blonde – but we were the same size, (except shoes, my big boats could never fit in her size 8s) shared clothes, shared secrets, navigated our way to adulthood and graduation together – her the valedictorian, I the salutatorian. Then we went to college and our lives, like so many do, drifted apart. But we kept in touch. Became Facebook friends (because we were actually in college when Facebook started). Her husband finished grad school, I finished grad school. We texted congrats across the state when we had our babies.

Luckily, with my family’s recent move, we are now less than an hour apart! Yesterday we had a great morning catching up, covering every topic under the sun. She read books to Jackson while I nursed Thomas, and Jackson fell asleep in her arms. She hadn’t met him in person until yesterday, but it was so precious to see her mothering my babies, just as I would do for hers (who I have yet to meet in person). I am so grateful to have her, to have all of my sweet friends. So grateful to carry on friendship with this beautiful woman and a few others. I love that we moved “back home” and I am close to these women again (except T, sorry I left you on the west side!). Being a new girl in town, I am meeting other women and moms. They are nice, but they likely won’t be one of the dearest.

To J, M, N, K, D and T… Happy Valentines Day to the friends I love.

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2 weeks and being a mom the second time

Thomas is 3 weeks old and I have been telling my self to write this post for 7 days now. Story of my life.

Baby T is amazing. He is chill, he has figured out nighttime is at night and sleeps pretty well for a newborn… not through the night or anything, but my boobs would likely explode if he did, so I don’t mind. He is just so sweet and snuggly, and he doesn’t puke everything everywhere all of the time.

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I’ve thought a lot about what makes me a different mom the second time around. Inherently we can never be the same mom to different children. We bring experience and wisdom to the second child that the first could not have had. Our lives are in different chapters than they were before. In 2013, when Jackson was born, I was in my last year of my nurse practitioner doctorate program. I was doing clinicals and school work, and then went back to work as a nurse also. I was stressed out. I cried a lot, although I don’t really think I was depressed, I was anxious constantly. My baby didn’t sleep well, puked constantly, and was generally discontent for the first 6 months. My husband was also a nervous wreck that Jackson would die in our care at any given moment. It was hard. Not necessarily because he was my first baby, but because my life was busy, he wasn’t an “easy” baby, and I just wanted to get through everything. I rushed his whole first year because I felt like better things must be on the other side of his first birthday. 

Now? Well, life is less stressful in many, many ways. It’s not all happy go lucky easiness either, but we now have better coping mechanisms. Also, I have no school deadlines, which makes my general situation infinitely less complicated. We are learning to juggle the needs of 2 children. Last week was my first outing with both and without my husband, and I had to figure out how to get a toddler out of a car seat and collect his infant brother without anyone getting hit by a car. We did it successfully 🙂 I have feelings of guilt about not being able to be 100% devoted to either child when they are both home, but I realize this will be a forever feeling. Right now Jackson is going to daycare during the day, so I do get to be focused on Thomas during the week days, which is nice. More than anything, I am trying to be present in my life with my family. Trying to read books, play cows and trucks, and stare into my new baby’s eyes as he nurses. I am not perfect, I still peruse my phone more than I should, still lose my temper sometimes with my 2 year old, but I am so much more relaxed than I was with Jackson as a newborn. It just all feels easier this time, despite the fact that the number of children in our home has doubled. I like the mom I am now so much better. No crying. Just happy. Except when I had a 102 degree fever last week with mastitis. I cried a little then… but I’m on the mend, I think. Everyone thinks they want to be a milk cow when breastfeeding… you don’t though. When you don’t take the time to completely empty out all of the time, you end up with mastitis at 2 weeks post-partum. boo.

I have 3 more weeks of maternity leave to soak in all of the oooie-gooie goodness of my newborn son, then back to work. I am already sad about it, but realize that is our reality, and I will be okay, as will our boys. Just have to remember to be present when I have them with me, because they certainly grow quickly.

ANNND, photo dump:

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Birthday

I can cut the the chase, and happily announce the arrival of our son, Thomas Brown, on the morning of Monday, November 23. He is delightful and our hearts are overflowing.

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Thomas Brown 11.23.15 @ 6:20am ~ 8 pounds 2 ounces ~ 20.25 inches

But now for the details I crave when reading a birth story…

Thursday morning I got up and went to Barre class. It was the first time that contractions were impeding my workout, I became teary during the cool down listening to a song that was popular when we were trying to get pregnant with Jackson, and I just wanted to rush home and stay there… instead I went to work and the contractions came and went, nothing painful, just annoying more than anything because they were making me waddle to walk through. I was 39 weeks that day. The nurses’ treats were ready to go, and I was ready, too.

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39 weeks, post last workout of the pregnancy.

 

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We had a snow/ice storm pass through the area on Friday the 20th, and I prayed the baby would want to stay put until the roads were safely passable. There is a small hospital in the town in which we live, but they haven’t delivered babies there purposefully in a significant amount of time. It wasn’t my first choice to pop out a kid surrounded by people ill-equipped mentally and physically if things didn’t progress “normally.” The roadside ditch was also not on my list of places to safely deliver a baby. Luckily things stayed calm that night, and the next morning after the roads were cleared, we packed up and headed to my parents’ for the weekend, about an hour and a half from our house, to let my husband go deer hunting and Jack have some time on Nanna and Poppa’s farm.  At time during the weekend the contractions would pick up, but woul peder out if I rested. Sunday afternoon I put jackson in the car to “take a ride” AKA get him to fall asleep for a good nap. While driving, I noted some decently strong contractions, almost painful, but nothing serious – only really noteworthy becaus I was sitting down, not up and active, and typically activity brought on contractions for me. When I got back to my parents’ I also laid down for a nap, slept soundly for an hour and woke up feeling great. Jesse didn’t get a deer, so we packed everything back up, and as we packed I again noticed that the contractions were stronger than a typical BH, but not painful per se. As we drove home, just sitting in the passenger seat, they wer strong enough that my husband noticed when they were happening. I began to time them and they were every 7-10 minutes and lasting about a minute each.

 

We got home and I began to unpack/make sure everything for the hospital was packed. I gave Jackson a bath and continued to time the contractions, which were maintaining in intensity/duration/interval, but not getting worse. I texted the photographer and my cousin who volunteered to watch Jackson in the case of a middle of the night labor, told them both to turn up their phone ringer, but that I wasn’t 100% convinced I was in labor yet. My cousin offered to take Jackson now, before bedtime, but I already had him snuggled in bed with me and his massive pile of toys, watching TV… And I really just wanted to savor these last few moments when he was my only. Jackson and I had a quiet conversation laying there, about Poppa’s cows (“moo-moos”) and Nanna’s chickens (“balk-balk shickens“, and lots of cars (“beet-beets”). I asked him if it was okay if his baby brother was born that night, and he said yes. Then I asked what we should name him and he said, “blue, green.” LOL. He fell asleep in bed and I just stared at him for a bit, taking in the last time he was my little and the baby. And then we put him in his crib.

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I snapped this picture of him sleeping beside me, the last picture of him as my only baby.

 

I encouraged my hubby to take a shower and get some rest if possible. While I wasn’t ready to leave the house, at this point I knew it was likely that these contractions weren’t going to stop, and we would eventually be going to the hospital. The contractions were still 5-ish minutes apart, so was just taking them one at a time, reminding myself that that is only 12 contractions per hour, and petting the cat with a little extra force through most of them while I was laying in bed, pedaling my feet to help physically extract the pain. At 11pm or so I took a hot bath. And once I got out the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and definitely the real deal. I woke up my hubby, he packed up the car and Jackson as I got through the contractions and called my cousin to warn her we were on our way.

We got checked in L&D around 1am, and I was 4cms. I was informed that they were busy, busy, busy and didn’t have any regular labor rooms left, so I would be delivering in the triage room where we were. I didn’t care, it was nice and a private room with a whirlpool, so whatever. At this point I was pretty sure I would get an epidural, no matter what I had ever said before. I got into the tub there, which helped take the edge off, while they ran my labs and gave my the obligatory IV fluids so the epidural could be placed when I wanted it. I have no idea how long I was in the tub, I kind of lost tract of time and space for a while. It’s funny, I am such an independent person, and in labor my husband just lets me do my thing… he did with Jackson, too… and it doesn’t bother me. I don’t want a hand holder or cheerleader, I just kind of shut into my own head. Around 3:30am I was ready to get out of the tub and have my epidural placed. Once it was in, the nurse checked me again – “a stretchy 7-8” (lovely mental image) – and I settled in with a GREAT epidural. I hate the sensation of the numbness, but in the case of the numbness versus the pain, I choose numb, especially knowing that I wouldn’t have much longer to wait. The photographer was resting in the waiting room. My hubby also grabbed some ZZZ’s. I was awake… too excited to sleep, ready to meet baby.

At 6am I texted my photographer, knowing I was almost ready to deliver. Then I called the nurse and told her the same thing – I just knew he was ready to go and I was right. They got me all set up, I pushed for 2 contractions, and out popped our sweet little wrinkly man at 6:20am. Easy as that. Really, easy as that. He had a nuchal cord wrapped around once, but the doctor was able to untangle him without cutting the cord, so we were able to delay cord cutting like I had requested. Jesse eventually cut the cord, we snuggled skin to skin, and then they took his measurements – 8 pounds, 2 ounces and 20.25 inches long.

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Jackson meeting his baby brother.

 

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first official family photo

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All ready to go home, on mom’s birthday… best gift ever.

So, we have spent the last week loving on our sweet Thomas, getting him adjusted to our home. Who am I kidding? We are totally adjust our home to him. He is so sweet, and cuddly, and perfect. He is a spitting image of Jackson, but with much more dark hair. He’s a champion eater, back to his birth weight by 4 days of age. I, of course, am making milk by the bucket loads again. Crazy.

 

thanksgiving 2015

We spent Thanksgiving at home, just the 4 of us. We have so much to be thankful for.

 

 

my boys

my little wolf pack

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wide awake in the middle of the night

I consider my life so complete right now. I have 2 sweet boys. My husband has been wonderful. Jackson is taking this new baby in stride, so far. We’re not getting tons of sleep, but it’s okay, my heart is calm. My heart is full.

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blessed

 

 

 

 

 

38 weeks… a pregnancy update

Well, I am almost done being pregnant for the second time around. I feel a little terrible and guilty that I have not been obsessively recording every milestone… #sorrynotsorry… my mom asked me last week when she should plan to take work off for the baby. I had to laugh a little, I hadn’t even given it a thought. Now that we’re close geographically and I am done with school, I have no worries about bringing a baby home, having help, and adjusting. Which is hilarious, because we have a crazy toddler to introduce the baby to.

A few weeks ago we officially moved in to our new home 🙂 while many things are still in boxes and I have LOTS of changes in mind for the space, we’re all here together under one roof, so it will all get there eventually. In the meantime, I’ll use what’s left of my nesting power to unpack and prepare for baby #2.

not sure where I was at for 31 weeks... oops.

not sure where I was at for 31 weeks… oops.

This pregnancy has again been pretty easy. I keep going to kettlebell class, but stopped running six weeks ago and just walk instead. I’m currently at about 25 pounds of weight gain, and I maxed out at 20 last time. I’m guessing #2 is bigger… I weigh more, feel bigger, and according to my husband, look bigger, too 🙂  This baby is a busy boy, which is reassuring every day – I sit at my desk at work and my belly just dances. I fully intend to deliver during the week I am due (a thanksgiving turkey cooking in here), so I am not anticipating a baby anytime super soon. I would be really surprised if he made an early appearance, but I do know it could absolutely happen. Let’s just hope not, for my sanity. And financial planning. I am only taking 6 weeks off for maternity leave, and want to be off the entire holiday season, which means carrying for 40 weeks – I’m sure the baby cares about my planning and schedule. hehe. Jackson was right on time, I just keep believing #2 will be, too. Not to mention, I have relatively nothing ready in comparison to when I was pregnant with Jackson. We know the baby will be in our room for a few months. I found the newborn clothes and a pack of diapers, and just tonight I put the carrier bases in the cars. I have a bag sorta packed for me, should my labor start “early” and I need to assemble an overnight bag for Jackson that we can grab when needed. I am delivering in the town I work, which is about 30 minutes from the town we live, so there is the potential that my husband would have to grab the stuff and bring it to me, which does motivate me to kinda have it together, because if he has to do it while he knows I’m in labor without him, he’ll freak out and forget stuff. Not that I couldn’t live without most of it, but still… long story short, by the end of the weekend, we’ll be as ready as we’re going to be. And this baby has to wait until at least Saturday evening – I have a hair appointment on Saturday morning and we’re doing family/maternity/Jackson’s 2 year old pictures in the afternoon. After that, I guess I can be okay with… are you listening baby??

I really had no idea it would be so much more physically exhausting to be pregnant while caring for a toddler. I feel bad for Jackson and my husband, as I have not been the most fun mom or wife lately. It’s hard to carry Jackson, who is almost 35 pounds now, but he still wants me to half of the time. And really, he is my only baby for only a little bit longer, so half of the time I want to. Until I pick him up, then I want him to walk. I can barely get my own socks on, so helping him can be challenging. And, let’s just say my husband has been more than his fair share of patient with me… and my narcoleptic insomnia… and my lack of desire to do anything after Jackson goes to bed… and for the next six weeks after this baby is born. He deserves a medal of some sort.

So, as this pregnancy comes to a close, I am excited to meet our little man, excited to get my waistline back, and excited to get settled in as a family of four.

Now, for the photo dump of the last 2 months 🙂 thanks to every one who still checks in with us, I know I am one of the most sporadic bloggers, but I still want to update the world on our world~ A.

last competitive run at 32+ weeks

last competitive run at 32+ weeks

playing with my cousin's son, they are best buds and worst friendamies

playing with my cousin’s son, they are best buds and worst friendamies

:)

🙂

moving into a new house is hard work

moving into a new house is hard work

:)

🙂

dad is the best :)

dad is the best 🙂

:)

🙂

... and I just ate a pumpkin for Halloween

… and I just ate a pumpkin for Halloween

he picked up quickly that little boys dressed as puppies get candy!

he picked up quickly that little boys dressed as puppies get candy!

mcmuffin ultimate update

Well, it’s been just over a month since I’ve written an update – in that time, we sold our home, moved everything across the state, I started a new job, we celebrated our 4th anniversary, Jackson turned 2, we began the process of buying a new home, and I turned the corner into the third trimester of pregnancy number 2. Woof. Also, my hubby’s grandmother passed away this week, so it’s been a whirl of emotion, change, and busy-ness.

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love my little family. this was snapped the morning of the big move… jack’s last day in our old home.

Okay – our move. Jesse moved most of our stuff with Jackson the weekend before we sold the house. He then came back after I finished my last week at the clinic, packed up the remainder of our stuff, and closed on the house. We caravanned across the state in 2 vehicles, pulling a trailer, and carting along the dog. The apartment is now teeming with our stuff, along with our storage unit. Jackson, despite having his room set up exactly the same as it was previously, is having trouble falling asleep here. Transition is hard when you’re two.

Speaking of… HE’S TWO! How did that happen?? Who am I kidding? He’s been acting two for about 4 months now. But, it does make me nostalgic to imagine this little man as the infant that he was. He’s now a jabbering, reasoning, giggling, demanding little boy. It’s nuts. He is thriving at his new daycare, where they have a pre-school curriculum 3 days per week, and his vocabulary and knowledge has exploded. When he asked for a blue napkin (appropriately!) last week at supper, Jesse and I about fell out of our chairs. Amazing what a little mind can absorb!

His birthday was pretty low key, especially compared to last year. Hard to throw a big bash in a small apartment, so we went to the local Pizza Ranch. We had a little family-centered cow-themed party for our little guy. He loved it.

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IMG_0940 The new job is proving to be challenging and wonderful. The hours are amazing for my family life, something that I appreciate immeasurably. The new content is mind-boggling. My nurse practitioner co-workers reassure me daily that I will figure it out. I am in an area of very specialized oncology care, and most of the language is so very foreign right now, but I am up for the challenge and welcome the knowledge expansion. However, there are certainly times I miss my primary care and the bread-and-butter medicine and preventative care I had become comfortable with. And I miss the peds – well child checks really were the best part of my previous position in family practice.

I had to join the #nursesunite movement last week. I was deeply offended by the insensitive and ignorant comments made on The View about not only nurses, but also generally about women competing in the Miss American pageant. While I was certainly never a pageant girl, the bravery of those women to get on stage to promote themselves is actually pretty amazing to me, no matter how you may think it pans out for the movement for respect for women. Miss Colorado gained my utmost respect, and I believe nursing IS a talent that, as a nurse, has a right to be celebrated. It is not the most important career ever, but it is a trusted and loved one, and ever though I do not do bedside nursing anymore, I am proud to be a nurse. Always.

#showmeyourstethoscope

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my facebook post: I am a nurse. This is my stethoscope. It has been with me for 10 years, not as an accessory, but a tool of my trade… My talent. It has helped me listen to the most normal, strong, and steady heartbeat… But also the whooshing of a failing heart, and the silence of one no longer beating. It has helped me hear the crackles of pneumonia, the wheezes of RSV, and the struggle of air to pass by a lung tumor. It has heard to silence of a bowel obstruction, and the first tinkley bubbles of air passing through after a surgery. Nurses are often passive in defending themselves and their profession – not because they don’t love it or believe in it, but because the emotion and energy we have is spent at the end of the day (night). It is spent on being on our feet, on being mentally on our toes, and we are just happy to be home with our healthy loved ones. But I am speaking out today. I am proud to be a nurse. It is a talent. And we will not be bullied.

It is also amazing to me that we celebrated our 4th anniversary of marriage. It has taken us so many places… together. I am so lucky to call this goofy, sensitive, and supportive man my husband and the father of our boys.

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Oh yeah, we finally announced to the world, baby McMillan #2 is a boy 🙂

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I am so excited to have two boys so close in age… can’t wait for lots of wrestling, tractors, mud, and farting noises 🙂 And, since my brother just had a boy, too, along with Jesse’s sister’s youngest child being a boy, we have boy cousins on both sides to make things fun!

My pregnancy is going well. I feel pretty good, all things considered. I’ve gotten bilateral inguinal hernias again, only they are worse this time, of course, and they have really been the bane of my feeling awesome. They throb and ache and make running uncomfortable. I still go, of course, because I am stubborn and like the resting of the aspect of running, even 15 pounds heavier right now. I am starting to feel big and uncomfortable. I don’t think that started until a little later last time, but that is the way of subsequent pregnancies, I’ve learned.

few weeks ago in my new work bathroom. classy.

few weeks ago in my new work bathroom. classy. thanks, snapchat, for helping me document this pregnancy. also, classy.

the belly and I ran our third 5k of the pregnancy last weekend. 30 weeks and 2 days, finished in 30 minutes and 21 seconds. not too shab.

the belly and I ran our third 5k of the pregnancy last weekend. 30 weeks and 2 days, finished in 30 minutes and 21 seconds. not too shab.

Otherwise, like I said, we’re in the middle of the paperwork period of buying another house, which we should close on in early October. AWESOME (except the moving, again, part). I am just so happy to think we’ll bring baby boy home to a house. And that I will not have to move again forever if I don’t want to. YES.

And now, a photodump of my sweet, adorable little boy and our adventures over the last month.

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corn palace days. yeah, it’s corny.

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we had to PRY his sticky little hands off of the handle bars at the end of the ride. totally worth the 3 expensive tickets to see him love this.

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feeding goats at the local zoo.

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first faux-hawk

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he LOVES these hot, heavy winter boots

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how he most easily falls asleep now… on the couch. ugh.

more updates in a month, hopefully from our new home!

steps

This is the last week in our Hot Springs home, and actually Jackson spent his last night here on Friday, Jesse will be back for one night this week, we’ll close on the sale on Friday, and then we’re gone. It’s really just me and the dog here this week. On to the next adventure.

While I am so very ready to have our family re-united and settled in our new town, there are bittersweet emotions running through me this week. When we moved here a little over 3 years ago we were newlyweds, childless, and sorta clueless. We moved into a 2 bedroom trailer home with a puppy and cat, eventually upgrading to a 3 bedroom trailer home. Jesse had just graduated from school and working at his first tech job, I was working nights at the hospital and doing long-distance schooling. We were trying to conceive. It was a big step towards our independence as a couple. We made new friends, though we missed our old friends so much. We learned to be just “us.”

so cute and young

so cute and young

And then we bought our first home when I was about 5 months pregnant. We had a baby. I finished my doctorate and started my nurse practitioner career at the clinic. We’ve been doing nothing but taking one big step after another.

OMG, little diaper butt

OMG, little diaper butt

We’ll sell our first home this week and move back across the state. I’ll start a new job. Jackson will start a new daycare. We’ll hopefully buy our second home soon. And have our second baby. More steps. More changes.

baby #2, growing like crazy

baby #2, growing like crazy

I am excited for these changes, but also nervous and sad. While a house is a house, we’d made this place our home. And this is the place where Jackson learned to walk and took his first steps:

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he took his first real walking steps here, from mommy to daddy…

We’ve grown as a couple and a family since moving out here. I know more wonderful, challenging, and exciting changes are coming our way. But for this week, while I sleep on an air mattress with just the dog and a wiggly baby in the belly to keep me company, I am sad for the things we are leaving. The gorgeous scenery. The kind people. Our great friends. Splendid weather. The place we brought home our first baby.

that time they let us leave the hospital with a baby...

that time they let us leave the hospital with a baby…

Our stuff is packed, stacked, and gone. I’m chilling out on the air mattress, grateful my husband works for the cable company and that I still have TV and internet to entertain me. Because the whole house is clean. Turns out being a nest-y pregnant lady is helpful when it comes to packing and cleaning all the nooks and crannies.

that time we moved way more kids stuff than necessary... I'm canceling Christmas presents this year.

that time we moved way more kids stuff than necessary… I’m canceling Christmas presents this year.

Here’s to the next step. The next chapter. The next adventure. Side-by-side with the people I love.

our little family, onto the next big thing

our little family, onto the next big thing

23 months

Jackson is 23 months old today. This is the last “month” milestone that I can celebrate and not be considered a coo-coo mom who describes my child as a 28 month old. He’ll be 2. TWO. In one month. He’s been acting 2 for a while, and I’ve been calling him a 2-year-old for a while, but suddenly I just want him to be 1 again. I want to count his age in months, not years. I want to savor that he is my baby, if only for a little bit longer.

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Jackson is a very busy little man. He is moving from the moment he wakes up until he finally lets his eyes shut for sleep. He loves “big frucks” (yes, he says that in public, and yes, I correct him every time), “moo-moo cows” and all other animals, especially his puppy and his “gitty,” to play ball of any sort, to make big, big messes with water, and to give hugs to mommy, daddy, papa, nana, the puppy, the gitty, and any one else that will take one. He love to tell everyone “HI!” and “bye-bye” with a little wave. In the mornings, he will greet us, especially his father, with a “Hi, Daddy” in the sweetest tone of voice.

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He has a sweet tooth, like both of his parents. We had to removed almost every piece of “nandy” from the house. He is a picky eater for us, but eats good for daycare and babysitters. He is a little short and a little round for his age, but I’m not surprised – he comes from a fair number of short-legged, round-bellied men. He hates having his teeth brushed or his finger nails clipped, but loves having his ears cleaned out.

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For a short-legged guy, he can climb, and fall down, with the best of them. He is more of a do-er than a talker. I guarantee he won’t be potty-trained until he’s 3. He just won’t, but he loves to stand and watch himself pee in the bathtub. His patience for books waxes and wanes. The only cartoon character he recognizes and can ask for by name is “Memo” (Nemo), but movies will hold his attention in the car (Thank You Jesus, since we do trips 6-7 hours at a crack). He always wants to be carried and will beg a really good case for it by holding his arms out and saying “owie, owie.” Well played child, because Papa and Nana always pick him up. Me? I do most of the time, but I’m getting big, and he’s 28-ish pounds, so it is getting harder and more uncomfortable. My brother, who just had the sweetest little 6 1/2 pound baby 2 weeks ago, asked me how I can carry Jackson around all of the time. I guess it’s a good thing they grow into their weight and you don’t even really notice them getting bigger over time.

new baby cousin, Everett.

new baby cousin, Everett.

Speaking of the baby (being the new cousin) he wasn’t very captivated (I was though). He did two-hand touch tackle him twice as a sign of affection, or possibly a sign of “put that baby down Mommy, I am your baby.” We have 3 months to prep for our new baby, which is also going to include moving (hopefully twice, with the second time into a house from our temp apartment), new daycare, new routines… my prepping him has been lacking, because I don’t know that it would make much of a difference. He’s just not a fan of babies. He likes to be the center of attention… so, we’ll cross that chasm when we get to it in November. Bahaha.

Today, as we did another 450 mile treck across the state, he sat in the back and jibber-jabbered to me about the cows and trucks and cars he saw. He smiled his big, sweet, cheesy smile. He asked for “nandy” and won by getting most of my gummy bears (BAD MOM!). And for a good portion of the ride, I just tried to soak his personality up and memorize it. After spending a little time with a new baby, I realize there are already so many details that I have let slip out of my mind about Jack’s infancy… I just remember he ate all of the time, didn’t really sleep, and puked a million times per day. I vow to remember more, write more down, about both Jackson and #2. Because, really, I just blink a few times, and 2 years has come and gone. I can’t imagine how quickly the next 16 will go, and he will no longer be my little boy, but a man. Although… he will always be my little boy, now matter how big and hairy and grown up he gets. Happy 23rd month, Jackson Christopher. We love you so much!

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that time i realized we are moving in 3 weeks and became too paralyzed to pack so i wrote a blog post instead

Let me begin by saying that I hate packing and moving and forwarding mail and all that jazz… a LOT.

Secondly, living separately from my husband also sucks.

And lastly, I am the worst mom ever at documenting my second pregnancy.

That all being said, we’re moving in August. My hubby has been there since the first week in May, and we’re just making it work logistically by living day-by-day. He’s in an apartment, we’ll be joining him there so we don’t rush into buying a house there until we’re ready. I am going to be ready by November, since I’m due at the end of that month. Newborns and toddlers and apartments can’t mix. Not in my world.

We’re both been back and forth the 400+ miles that we’re living apart right now. This is giving Jackson a pretty fun summer. Lots of parades and candy and swimming… good old summer stuff. But I am sick of both of us commuting. I am sick of planning, sorting, boxing-up, and making decisions. I want to chill out for a while.

I took a job with a cancer institute doing in there molecular biology department… I’m going to be doing something with the patients that get referred for genetic tumor testing. I don’t know much past that at this point, as it is a newly created position. But it’s 8-5, Monday through Friday without call or weekends or holidays. I’m guessing I’ll love that. And learn a lot.

Jackson is growing like a weed. He’ll be 2 in 6 weeks or so, and he’s pretty darn funny. He’s talking more, giving me stories in toddler-ese. Makes his needs known and climbs up to whatever heights he needs to to get what I won’t give him. And, in big news for our family, he’s been 2 days and nights completely pacifier-free! (I know, I know… whatever, he loves the dumb thing).

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best way to cool off on a hot day

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he stole my soda and would not return it.

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feeding chickens with daddy.

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chasing chickens and g&g’s farm

naked piano playing at g&g's

naked piano playing at g&g’s

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waiting for “nandy” (candy)

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love this.

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swimming on a 100-degree day, look at that white belly!

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all of the cousins together

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And baby #2 is just hanging out, growing appropriately, kicking around and doing it’s thing. We know the gender, but for the most part have not shared what it is… it’s fun having that secret to ourselves. Either way, the baby sure looks like its older brother.

#2 {love}

#2 {love}

typical day with Jackson

typical day with Jackson

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20 weeks

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today!